You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
