i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize