his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
