So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
