i may or may not be watching the land before time
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
