Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
