Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
