Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
