In the future we'll all be gay
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
