His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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