HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
