brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
