and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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