it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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