K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
