its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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