Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I forget how to act sober
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