do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
