You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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