If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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