I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
