Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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