Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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