I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night