I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
