Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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