Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
