too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
