I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
