your room smells of hookers.
And success
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
