Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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