sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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