don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
