I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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