dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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