then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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