If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need a beard to bite.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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