Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
