It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
