I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
