I bet he comes in French.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
