I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
