my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
