We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
