Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
