I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
