i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
