I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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