I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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