yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
