I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
