Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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