My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
