He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
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He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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