I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
