ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
