He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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