I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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