Do you still have your period?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
