the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
