i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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