do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
