I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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